Funny Product Reviews

I do a lot of research before I buy things (ask my husband--it drives him crazy.)  I love reading product reviews when they help me figure out if something is worth considering or moving away from.  I find it interesting when the same product has reviews from people who love the product and people who hate it.  My absolute favorite reviews are for products that don't live up to expectations and people are upset.  The comments are hilarious.  Men's reviews are the best.  They are  no holds barred and 'tell it like it is."  I've decided to start collecting my favorite product reviews so I can read them and laugh whenever I feel like it.

Banana Slicer

For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I'll call it South Side Story.

Think about it. You have your knife in your hand. You cut the banana. One slice. Two slice. Oh, shoot, that slice was twice as thick as the previous slice. Hmm. Try again. Third slice. My hell, that slice veered off to the side and it's not a banana disc, it's a stupid banana wedge. Oh, and the stupid thing is sticking to the knife.

Repeat this over and over, each morning, and what are you left with? A frustrating start to the day, a waste of time, and stupid uneven lumpy banana mess.

Start your day with the banana slicer? Even slices. Every time. You would literally have to be blind AND have Parkinson's or ALS or something to mess this up. This banana slicer will literally save you years of time over the course of your life, it is so fast and easy. Not to mention it will save you years of stress. Keep a full head of hair, and keep yourself young and healthy: get the banana slicer. It will inject tiger's blood into your morning routine and might literally melt your face it is so great.

Men's Cookbook

4.0 out of 5 stars Real Food for Bachelors
This book is fun and practical for ANYONE who is culinarily challenged. Many of the recipes are good enough to serve guests - and I don't mean JUST your buddies schlepping beer on the couch.

5.0 out of 5 stars
Perfect for male college grad!
My son adored the book! He particularly liked the photos showing what the ingredients looked like in the grocery store. He is on a health kick and trying to avoid fast food. He said the recipes weren't bad for basic recipes. Now to see if he and his roommates can find the kitchen..

Men's Shaver Reviews

1.0 out of 5 stars A bulky razor that sounds great and works - well...not at all
I thought I would try a electric razor and found out that no matter how many passes I made (I tried going over areas 20 and 30 times) I could not get a shave that even came close to be being worthy of the name razor. Rather it looked like I had tried to shave with a dulll and rusty pair of sheep shears and this one was just about as uncomfortable. The few wiskers it managed to grab it plucked more than cut and I found myself wondering if anyone in the company actually tried this thing before releasing it. Absolutely the worse shave of my life.

Disclaimer: I do have a thick and heavy beard so perhaps a teenage guy with a few wispy hairs might find this useful - sure didn't work if you were actually an adult male which I assume were the intended users.

1.0 out of 5 stars Unbelievably bad shaver
So I charged it for 24 hours and started my evaluation. The minute I put this thing to my face, I knew this was going to get ugly REAL fast. This thing is INCREDIBLY poor at removing hair. I'd go over an area of my face. Then I'd go over it again. And again. And again. And again. With enough patience, I could, after a lot of work, remove a barely passable amount of hair from my face. But just barely passable.

After one day with this thing, I was ready to toss it. But in all fairness, some shaver manufacturers assert you need a week or two for your beard to adjust to the new shaver. So, OK, I gave it ten days.

The longest ten days of my adult shaving life.

It never got better. It took probably 3-4x as long with this shaver as with my Norelco (my current default shaver) to get an acceptable shave. And to be honest, it wasn't really very acceptable. In fact, after a few days, I would use a second shaver to do the final hair removal because even after wasting a lot of time with this thing I wasn't really ready for prime time...

At the end of ten days, I tossed this thing in the trash. Now it's time for the review and I can put this experience out of my mind.

The only positive thing I can say is that the shaver held its charge sufficiently to allow 10 days of shaves without a recharge. And trust me, that's a lot of shaver "on" time, since each of those shaves is painfully, ridiculously slow.

When I first started to shave, years ago, I inherited an old (corded) electric shaver from my Dad that was probably made in the '60s. I can honestly say that this shaver is WAY worse than that shaver.

I rarely give one star reviews, as I can usually find SOMETHING worthwhile about a product. Not here. This is hideous. Not worth owning at any price, and the asking price for this shaver (not cheap) boggles the mind.

If you really want one, rummage through my trash and help yourself :-)

PATIO Fire Pit Reviews

1 / 5
1 5

Got this today. Seemed like too good of a price compared to most fire pits but it had many good reviews so I thought I'd give it a try. What a waste. It didn't even last the first fire. The paint bubbled and started flaking off right away. It made horrible popping sounds as it twisted from the heat. It actually scared the kids. It released a horrible odor as the finish burned off. Needless to say I am taking it right back to the store tomorrow. An utter waste.

5 / 5
5 5

I bought this as a present for my pyro husband. The fire pit was easy to put together and has handled a pretty raging fire so far. I have only had it for a month, and it works great outside.

1 comment:

Syd said...

I drive Lance crazy with how many reviews I read about a single item. I will read literally every review I can find.

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